She Will Be Loved
by barefoot11
Summary: Matthew's life isn't all it's cracked up to be. He tries to keep it hidden, but it gets harder to conceal when a certain Prussian starts getting curious. AU, song!fic, Human names used, Prussia/Canada if you squint


Though Gilbert was loud-mouthed, arrogant, and seemed like the ideal 'popular' student, he wasn't as gregarious as he seemed. His friends consisted of the few he grew up with, and those his younger brother befriended. In his mind, this was all he would ever need: a few drinking buddies and comrades to spend the long school days with. He never thought he'd feel anything else toward anyone besides amused interest.

As he matured mentally, throughout the years, he began to see that there was more to life than the small group he held close to him. He began to see – despite himself – that not everything was as perfect and marvelous as it used to seem. Actually, some things were actually quite terrible.

Like the boy who sat in front of him in Science class, next to him in Health, at the front of the room in Social Studies and was always sitting in Gym.

_Beauty Queen of only eighteen_

Gilbert had always known the blonde was there, just never cared, in blunt honesty. He'd pass him in the hallways, and never a glance would be shared between them. Gilbert had never thought it was so wrong until he noticed how fake the boy was…

His smile quivered and shook, reluctant to express an emotion he didn't have. His hands were jittery, and always fiddling with something, whether it is a loose string on his shirt or a stray lock of hair. His smooth, calm and utterly light voice wasn't real – it was plastered and formed to be the way it was, molded and distorted by fears and wonders. Though, to Gilbert, the boy's amethyst eyes were the most condemning. They flicked back and forth, never comfortable or at ease; they also always seemed distant and glazed, as if searching for something that wasn't in his reach anymore.

_She had some trouble with herself_

Gilbert had realized this himself, only, in not so many words. He just knew the boy was a phony. And, for reasons unknown to him, Gilbert was acutely bothered by this and just wanted to stop. He wasn't known for lying down on the job, either. He knew that if he walked up to the blonde and began talking, it wouldn't seem abnormal or forced, for they were classmates. So he did just this.

During Health (the teacher didn't care; he was actually reading a magazine at his desk), he turned to face the constantly apprehensive student beside him. He placed his head in his hand, taking notice of the way he was doing homework from another class. "Hey there," he said casually.

_He was always there to help her_

A jump of nerves erupted in the blonde, and he turned his head only to see large red eyes staring at him. His shaky feeling ebbed a bit. He knew these eyes. Though he was perplexed upon the reason for conversation, Matthew managed a smile. "Hi." He dropped his pencil silently; it was rude to be doing something else when someone was trying to talk to you…

"What's your name again?" He asked innocently enough. He wasn't prepared for the subdued flare of unlikeable emotion to rise in those purple eyes. Gilbert took notice of this, and his cocky grin faded into something more curious.

"Matthew."

The voice was forcibly made to sound carefree, and Gilbert could see why he hadn't noticed it before. He hadn't been looking. After clearing his throat of distracting deductions and thoughts, he returned, "Gilbert."

"I know," said Matthew shortly, keeping his gaze locked on the board a couple yards in front of him; locked on anything but those cryptic, blood-red orbs. His mind tried to dig up reasons or explanations of why such a pretentious and unmannered student would be talking to him. Was he in a gang? Had Matthew crossed… some line with him? That was ludicrous, he told himself after a moment. Gilbert didn't seem to be in a gang.

The silverette raised a skeptical brow, for the tone didn't sit well with him at all. It seemed like the blonde was… blaming him for something? He didn't let his musings show on the outside. So he continued, "Well, okay then. Can't say I blame you, I guess I'm well-known…"

Matthew just nodded agreeably. Despite knowing that Gilbert was in fact not in a gang like his dubious subconscious wanted him to believe, he still opted to be wary.

Biting the bullet, Gilbert looked at him carefully and asked, "Is everything alright?"

A jolt similar to lightening surged through Matthew's system, though the only external implication of this was his halted breath and the widening of his eyes. He twisted his neck around so he could see the silverette again. "E-Excuse me?"

Gilbert had opened his mouth, but he was denied words as another blonde strolled over.

"Gilbert, what are you doing to _mon cheri_?" Francis moved in behind Matthew, draping an arm over the startled Canadian's shoulder, and staring quizzically at his Prussian friend.

_She always belonged to someone else_

"Ah…" He looked between the two men across from him. Didn't Francis usually skip this class, claiming he knew more about the human body than the professors ever could? What an ironic day for him to actually stay, Gilbert groaned internally. "I'm not doing anything to him. …What are _you_ doing to him?!" He watched in slight terror as Francis' hands moved to the collar of Matthew's shirt, and a bit under.

"He's just too cute to pass up, _non_?" Francis put a smirk on his lips. "Ah, you don't mind, do you, _Mathieu_?" He looked to his classmate, bringing his face closer.

"Not at all," said Matthew, cheerily.

The expressed fake happiness in Matthew's tone literally sent a shiver down Gilbert's spine.

* * *

Gilbert tried again – a few times more, actually – to converse with the Canadian. But he wisely chose to do so in the classes that Francis wasn't in, leaving him with Gym, Science and Social Studies. It was hard to actually talk during class (darn teachers, always shushing him…) so he tried his best to catch the blonde in the corridors, or before school – anywhere.

_I drove for miles and miles_

He had no explanation for his sudden desperate need to find out what was wrong with Matthew. Honestly, his senses could be wrong, and Matthew could be perfectly fine. But how could he prove that if he never tested the theory? With that in mind, Gilbert managed to slip beside him in the busy hallway on the way to Gym class.

"Yo, Mattie," said the Prussian, conversationally.

_And wound up at your door_

Matthew, frankly, was beginning to fear the silverette. The gazes of his that fell on him halted his common senses; he normally couldn't breathe when Gilbert was around. He couldn't place it either, but the feeling was real. He didn't want help, he didn't need it…! "H-Hello, Gilbert," he said, begging his voice to convey something more authentic than what it was beginning to show.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, but decided to save his questions for later. "What's up?"

"N-Nothing! Why do you think there's always something?!" Matthew exclaimed carelessly, all intentions of masking his feelings gone. He wanted to be left alone, like before. It was beyond his reasoning why Gilbert would suddenly choose to read him like an open book and decide to rush in and save him! It was too late! Despite his strong spirit, Matthew kept his head low.

The Prussian's thoughts stalled, and he knew that his theories of a tortured soul had been correct. He took his hand out from his denim pocket, and put it on the younger boy's shoulder. "Look, I just think something's up with you, and, so sue me, I want to help."

_I've had you so many times but_

A firm wave of intoxicating comfort flowed from the silverette's hand into Matthew's chest. He felt at peace, if only for a moment; he felt gullible and open, and wanted to open his world to the only one who had tried looking for the key. But before his traitorous lips could go forth a commit such a sin, he bit down on the bottom one for a while. Then, he pulled his shoulder free from Gilbert and said, "I don't need you." He stalked off to the front office – he conveniently had to leave home early, anyway.

Gilbert felt an undeniable sense of failure fill his being. So, to ensure such a bitter feeling wouldn't enwrap his body again, the next day during Science he stole the Canadian's binder indiscreetly. Inside of it, he wrote his phone number and his address (why not?) and put that, and these words, next to a hurried scribble of a farmyard chick: "_I'm waiting!_"

_Somehow, I want more_

* * *

"Hey; hey Mattie!" called out Gilbert, as he noticed his friend sitting a ways off, alone, on a small concrete wall. Just by coincidence had he been strolling the park, and now it all seemed worth it to catch his blonde friend along the way. Matthew had always been so hard to pin down…

The blonde looked up from his seat on as he was wrenched from his inner musings. A small smile formed on his lips, and the late spring wind toyed with his hair.

_I don't mind spending every day_

That grin, Gilbert saw, was realer than he'd seen it in a while, bit was still slightly strained. Though he was not quite satisfied, he suppressed his notions and gave a smile back. "Yo. How long have you been here?" he asked casually, with a raised eyebrow, as he approached him, looking around for no reason at all. Why was he so alone here? It looked like something out of an unnecessarily sad and dramatic movie, him sitting all alone in such a desolate place. The park was wide, green and idealistic with a wide lake across the way, but, because of a lack of funds there were no picnic benches, playground equipment, or things of the like; and now a-days, many people didn't see the peace and quiet of simple nature, so it wasn't the most popular place amongst locals. So why, again, was Matthew here?

"Um…" Matthew was rather flustered about Gilbert at first, when their friendship had initially began – it scared him so deeply that someone was breaching to him, into him. Befriending other students had always been farthest on his list of what he needed to do. He didn't need anyone to be happy, to be successful. He had always told himself that, but Gilbert was shattering his tight-wound blanket of security. At first, he wasn't quite sure if he liked it, but after a few solid months of the silverette's visits, Matthew found he liked it quite a bit. He didn't flinch away when he was approached by the self-centered jerk, and he still kept Gilbert's messily written contact information in his binder with a few unconscious doodles around it of his own. Was this what true, selfless friendship actually felt like?

He'd also reached out a bit himself, albeit slower than Gilbert had. For the Prussian, after a few after-school study sessions, he began telling childhood stories, and memories of his family. Matthew, on the other hand, tried his balance his thoughts constantly, trying his best to always be on the merry side, which restricting him from expressing worries to his new friend. And worries, honestly, were what he usually had pounding in his mind.

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

"Not long," replied Matthew airily, with his feet swinging a bit. Every time one of his heels resounded against the bench ticked a second between them. The light and purple jacket he wore, that matched his eyes, had its drawstrings stolen by the wind every few moments as well. "Maybe ten minutes or so." He grinned softly and delicately, like a whisper in the wind.

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

Gilbert smirked appreciably, and as a heavy yawn seized him, he raised his arms way above his head. It pulled his short shirt up a bit. "It's much more awesome now that I'm here though, right?" His arms finally settled at his sides, and his hands withdrew into his pockets, common to his posture.

Matthew, with mock annoyance, rolled his eyes and said with sarcasm hidden between his words, "I don't know how I lasted without you."

_Ask her if she wants to stay a while_

Nodding in contentment, the Prussian crossed his arms over his chest. He watched Matthew, waiting for him to lead them into a conversation. He had noticed earlier about how he had always been the one to talk first – he thought it only fair to let Matthew have a shot. Though the silence was welcomed, Gilbert did also enjoy the sound of the blonde's true, liquid voice.

_And she will be loved_

"Um…" Matthew looked up again, to see Gilbert waiting. "What?"

"Nothing," hummed the silverette, sitting beside him, and eliciting a conversation of his own, while his mind sung other songs to him.

_She will be loved_

* * *

…Maybe he shouldn't have stayed up so late the night before, Gilbert reflected drearily, since he knew he had to wake up early on Sunday morning to prepare for school the next day. He collapsed his head back into his welcoming pillows and moaned. The heavy and steady beat of the rain outside began to lull him, and the way the dark clouds shrouded him from the sun's harsh rays made him feel so comfortable. He could sink within the depths of his single bed's sheets and covers and stay there forever.

Though, his persistent alarm clock disagreed. It told him to wake up instantly. And, reluctantly, Gilbert was forced to oblige. His arm fell leadenly upon the distressed machine, relieving it of its screams. If he wasn't so hazy, he would have remembered whether or not he had set it early, but it didn't matter. He rose into a sitting position and gave his best glower to the world that dare to rouse him.

Still scowling, he pulled out a few random items of clothing – he wasn't planning on going anywhere at all, and he didn't think anything urgent and fancy would pop up into his schedule – and threw them on his body haphazardly. (Was his shirt on backward? Heck, never mind; it didn't matter.) Gilbert made sure to get one of the bigger bags of cereal from the closet in his kitchen before plopping himself down loyally before the television. This is how he spent the rest of his Sunday morning.

But when late afternoon rolled around, it was a different story.

_Tap on my window_

Gilbert was actually in the kitchen when it happened – he needed to wash his hands after touching so many sticky pieces of cereal. There was an extremely loud and urgent knocking on his door, something that shouted for immediate attention. He raised an eyebrow in interest. A visitor was unexpected; he normally visited (or invaded) other people's homes, it didn't tend to be the other way around. He wrung his hands dry on his dark blue towel, and dropped it back onto the counter. "Coming!" he screamed in the general direction of the impatient guest (were they seriously still knocking?!), and frowned prematurely. Someone needed to calm down!

_Knock on my door_

He moved swiftly around his house, until he found himself at the front door. "Hold your horses!" he yelled, unlatching the first lock, and then the second before opening the door. "Now what's so –" Gilbert's throat closed on him as his eyes distractedly drunk in the sight before them. Questions burned themselves like stars into his mind, but he didn't relish on them for long. What his instincts told him, he followed. "Come in!" He grabbed the shaking, soaking wet boy by the frigid hand, and pulled him inside. "Matthew, what in the world –?" He couldn't even manage coherent sentences himself, and it seemed like the blonde couldn't either.

Salty tears merged together with rain on Matthew's pale cheeks, most of the former still flowing freely from his blood-shot and red eyes. He hiccuped uncontrollably, though it was more like many sharp, hyperactive gasps than actual hiccups. The coat he wore was many shades darker than its original pigment intended – instead of khaki, it was such a dark brown that it was almost black. His hair was matted and was in disarray, unlike the playfully pristine way he usually kept it. Over and over, he tried to form those cursed things called words – only choked apologies came out correctly. The rain continued to sing outside, and as the unfamiliar door closed beside him, he knew that it sealed his fate.

With his thoughts swirling like a hurricane, Gilbert led his dazed friend to his large couch and made him sit. The poor boy nearly collapsed. The Prussian couldn't think of anything to say – what had happened to all of those interrogatives that had formed during their friendship? Where were those questions that he had saved for later? He numbly shook his head. With his feet taking the lead, Gilbert walked into the hallway closet, trying to find that one blanket he knew he had buried in there so long ago… When he finally found it, it wasn't in the admirable state it had been in when the silverette had first bought it; but Matthew obviously wasn't in his best shape either, so the fact would most likely go unnoticed. He brought it out to his friend. It seemed like the blonde had cleared his mind and calmed his breath, so when the old turquoise blanket was presented to him, he managed to give an appreciative nod and accept it. Gilbert curiously watched him pull it tightly around his shoulders.

_I want to make you feel beautiful_

"I'm sorry," were the first words from Matthew's mouth, after a few minutes of them both sitting in silence.

Gilbert, in the recliner across from him, jumped out of his own thoughts at the sound; not that he was edgy, or anything. "What for?"

_I know I tend to get so insecure_

"E-Everything. For lying to you, for not telling you the truth, I…" Matthew didn't know where he was going. The words seemed crooked but fused together and pre-made in his mind, so he let them go where they pleased. He had always been a pleaser. "It's not like I didn't want to tell you everything. I r-really did. I was just scared."

More than simply curious now about how this suddenly included him, Gilbert inconspicuously leaned toward his friend; it was like he was trying to catch those ghosts of words that were falling from the blonde's mouth the moment they did so. They hung there in-between the companions, filling the air with a tangible sense of consolation, until Matthew tried his shot at words again. Gilbert was surprisingly calm and patience, as if he had stepped out of his own skin just for this moment.

_Doesn't matter anymore_

"Where sh-should I start? I g-guess, ah…" It still wasn't working out as planned – but that's what you got when you dived head-first into a dire situation without any plan at all. He looked into his friend's eyes, trying to find some sort of comfort; and what he found prodded him with confidence and nearly warmed him physically. Looking away embarrassingly from Gilbert again, Matthew tried one last time. "I guess it started in third grade, when I was told I had a twin brother who had been held back in kindergarten. So even though he was in a grade lower than me, he was still around since you know, it was elementary school. Everyone knew everyone. But, I have nothing p-personal against my brother. He's alright, and all, but… when he came to the school I was at, something I had never thought possible actually became reality. It… uh…" He gulped thickly, though it only served to physically annoy him: his throat was so dry from the crying, and from running all the way… He internally shook himself and tried his best to stay focused. "I just… began fading. That's the best way I can describe it: people began looking through me, running right into me." Matthew's eyes became slightly wider then normal as a nostalgic glaze formed around them.

While staying quiet, Gilbert began putting pieces together in his mind. He had seen it before, the fading part; Matthew would be there, and then he wouldn't. He had never thought about it much, but he now figured it would get annoying after say… a few hours. How had Matthew been able to put up with it since elementary school?

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

"It scared me at first, I guess… then… I grew used to it. It was… just a part of me. It… I don't know." He laughed bitterly, threading his fingers through his damp hair for a thoughtful moment. "I don't know why I'm using you as a wastebasket for all my problems, either, but I –"

Gilbert knew where this was heading, this pointless rambling. He interrupted him before he could dig up an excuse to leave. "So why were you crying before?" Curiosity didn't sound right when interlaced with his words. It sounded so… he couldn't even place it, and his attention was pulled away before he could even try.

_It's compromise that moves us along_

Another hiccup of a raspy breath came from Matthew, no matter how hard he had tried to suppress it within. "I-I…" He pressed his lips together, trying to find any cover-up to explain it all that had happened through the last few hours. Chancing a glance at Gilbert again, he sighed at the welcoming expression that he was greeted with. "You know Francis from our health class, right?"

A pang of something terrible promptly seized his heart, twisting it into many warped knots. As a response, anger bubbled up in the Prussian's throat. "What did he do to you?!" Though Gilbert was quite chummy with the French man, if he had done what he was suspecting him of doing, he swore he would…!

_My heart is full and my door's always open_

Surprise flicked across Matthew's face. "Wh-what?!" With a short pause, he tried to imagine what his friend was thinking, and the image startled him. "…N-N-No, nothing! H-He didn't do anything wr-wrong! I-I…" He deflated into his seat, his initial excitement gone. He fumed internally to himself for a few silent minutes. "…Well, he did do something, but it's not –"

"I knew it! Why didn't –"

"But it's not what you're thinking!" Matthew capably shifted his voice louder than that of his friend's so he could be heard. It was gnawing at his patience ever so slowly – though Gilbert usually like this, he didn't need someone like that at the moment. He needed someone who would actually listen to him. "He's just…" he turned his head away, staring intently at the stained pillow beside him, as if pretending to be trying to figure out what exactly could have been spilled to form such an odd shape… "I know he means well, I think, but he's so…" A shiver rode his vulnerable spine like a roller-coaster. "Uh, he's so flirtatious, and he's so random, I just… I don't know. He's always so overwhelming, I just..."

_You come anytime you want_

"Wait, clear this up for me," Gilbert requested, making a daring leap, but he'd never get to the correct conclusion if he didn't ask. "Are you two dating or something?"

An embarrassed blush overtook the blonde's cheeks so fast that it was startling. "N-N-No, certainly not! N-Never." He looked away again. "But that's just it; he acts like we are… I don't know."

Whenever the Canadian would say, 'I don't know', Gilbert always knew that his friend's train of thought had crashed into a nearby wall. So he came to his rescue. "Why were you crying, again…? You didn't really answer me…"

_I know where you hide; alone in your car_

"I-I was getting to that," stammered Matthew apprehensively, lacing his fingers together underneath the thick blanket. "H-He… well, he took me with him to his friend's house this morning…" He wistfully stared out the window. "This just happened to be across the street from your house; that actually was the first thing I noticed…" The small smile that had squeezed itself between his words suddenly fell, falling back into the dark abyss. "Surprisingly, there were so many older students there, too, I guess it was some sort of get together… and, uh, I was… well, fading again, when Francis managed to find me. I thought he would take me back home, or something, but he actually seemed… sort of high, maybe, who knows? And he was saying all of this stuff, but I just…" The onslaught of fresh tears brought an uncomfortable flush to his cheeks. Another hiccup followed. "My first thought was of you, so I ran here…"

"And how…" Gilbert was pretty sure this guess would hit the nail on the head. "…how long has this been going on?" He stared into those weak amethyst eyes of his friend's with an almost protective gaze. He could see through those purple mirrors how Matthew had never wanted to make Francis worry, never wanted to approach him, and how he always felt a suffocating – if loving – gaze. He could only imagine.

_Know all of the things that make you who you are_

"I-I-It…" Matthew tried to put it all into a time break. "Since… last year."

"Why were you putting up with it?"

Bluntly the blonde replied, "I didn't want to make him mad. He always seemed so strange…"

"And you want to remain friends, right?" Gilbert could see where the Canadian was coming from: Francis was one of those people. He had his strong points covered with a rather annoying outer layer of perverted suggestions and ideas. Gilbert liked to keep the French man as a friend as well, despite how many times he was wondering how long it would take him to hit the ground after being thrown from a tenth story window…

"Mmhmm," hummed Matthew in the positive, his head bobbing.

Gilbert leaned contently back into his chair. Mystery: solved. He captured his left forehead behind his head, using it as a make-shift pillow. "Then talk to him." Before his friend could hiccup a protest, he suggested, "I'll come with you."

Matthew seemed to chew this idea over in his mind. "I… okay."

With a relieved and silent sigh, the silverette asked, "Problem solved, then? Are you going to go around being your true, happy self from now on? 'Cause seriously, trying to get a real smile out of you was starting to get tiring…"

_Comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls_

Despite the cryptic wording and perplexing implications, Matthew smiled gratefully. "I'll try."

"Good. Now get up; you're soaking my coach, and I need that to laze around on…"

* * *

**A/N**: Lyrics used are from the song: _She Will Be Loved_ by Maroon 5 that I do not claim ownership of.

Rushed ending, I know! -puts up hands in defeat- Couldn't do it any other way!

Anyway, I think I see Gilbert different than a lot of other people do… either that, or I totally just mess up his character! I'm a lot like Matthew myself (fades in crowds; timid; quiet; etc.) but in my PruCan fics I seem to focus on Gilbert a lot more... huh. It's quite interesting. P:

This story... was such a good idea in my head, but then I ruined it by trying to write it! D: -grumbles- I didn't do the angst right, I didn't give it much of a plot... -rambles-

Since I have so many ideas right now (mostly PruCan. -is guilty-)... there might just be a story every day~! -smiles- I'm on winter break now, so I have time. And plus, I'm a night owl, so I have all that time before bed too~! ...Ah, but I'm not making any promises...

**Edit**: Sorry for deleting this. I was confused. - But thanks to RedHatMeg, I know what I'm going to do. Sometime... later, I'll post another (hopefully better) version as the next chapter... there's only one difference between them, which is France's role... so, uh... -dies- I don't want to spoil it. x3

**R&R**, please~!


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